Poem 21

21 Apr 2016 • 1 min read

This one is probably not ready, but a promise is a promise.

Oh God, I miss you

Can I miss something that doesn’t exist?

Like I missed George and Kramer

When Seinfeld went off the air?

Is this heart-hole some holy proof?

Philosophy makes me queasy–I just miss you

I feel it heavy this morning.

I thought I could always come back

I could walk away for a thousand miles and turn around

to see you sneaking along behind

Always with me

I cannot feel your breath on my neck and

I cannot hear you foot steps.

There are no footprints in the sand

So when did you turn back?

I have so many questions now

I put you in my back pocket before I set out,

Rare chocolate that melted somewhere along the way

You were always a shoreline

Unmovable and tideless

I could swim back to any day I wanted

If I had wanted

I cannot see the land any more

The lake is an ocean

I’m not sure I remember how to swim

I have become afraid of water

Living water

That’s what you offered me

I started drinking since then

I bought a new Bible last summer,

Then lost it a month later

I am always losing things between the cracks of my busywork

I thought I was the one who was

supposed to be lost–

not you

Where in the hell are you?

Every day is Holy Saturday

A promise barely visible through the fog of loss

Oh God, I miss you